the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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