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bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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