I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
