1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
