he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
