Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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