I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
