So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
