why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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