S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
