Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
