the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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