Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
