Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
