I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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