Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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