i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
