he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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