people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
