I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
