You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
