so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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