I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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