She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
