been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So many bounce houses so little time
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
