if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
