Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
