I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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