I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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