HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
