I think i peed on brittanys purse
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
