i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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