Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
