for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
