Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
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