Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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