Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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