if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have post one night stand depression
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