I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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