It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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