but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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