I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
