I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
