i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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