im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
