At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i out mim tonsoeep
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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