She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
