It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
