why do cheetos always look like penises
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So much Jack, so little girl.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
