we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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