"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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