Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
