Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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