I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
